Moment with the father

sometimes goodness doesn’t look or feel like it

Submitted by Gene McCumber, TTWM Partner

 
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A little history…

I joined the Marines right out of high school. I didn’t love it, but, for some time now, I’ve been able to look back at it and see God’s goodness in it.

I started working for Comcast after I got discharged. The job started off great, but then the company changed and I became very dissatisfied with my job. However, I made good money that allowed us to buy a house and have everything we needed and wanted. I could see God’s goodness in it.

I left Comcast and started working at a computer support company called TCW in Manheim, PA. It was an incredibly pleasant work environment, and I learned a ton about computers and their workings while I was there. I could plainly see God’s goodness in it.

While I was working at TCW, I started doing side work at TTWM. It was great to work with Jay, and I really enjoyed helping everyone involved figure out the technology stuff that needed attention. That led to my splitting my time between TCW and TTWM. It was not the easiest arrangement in the world, but I could see God’s goodness in it.

Then, in May of 2017, I went full time to TTWM’s business consultation division, The Emporia Group, with the goal of performing IT work for clients at an affordable rate. A couple really big projects presented themselves right at the beginning, and I could see God’s goodness in that.

But in February, the flow of business was drying up. There wasn’t a whole lot coming my way, and I’m not a good salesman. I felt like a failure. I was sure I was letting everyone down. I was sure Jay and the board were upset and trying to figure out what they were going to do. While those things weren’t true, they felt true at the time. I didn’t see or feel God’s goodness. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t there.

In July, Jay and I had a frank talk, and we felt it was a good time for me to start looking for a job. I applied for three jobs on one afternoon. I got one of those jobs. I can see God’s goodness in that.

Looking back on my failed endeavor into semi-entrepreneurship, I see God’s goodness all over it. The TTWM board and Jay gave me a chance to try my own business without much of the risk that comes with it. I would always have wondered if I could make it on my own running my own shop, and now I know I couldn’t. I’m just not a good businessman, and that’s okay. I learned a ton about who God is and who I am. I was able to form deep and meaningful relationships both in and outside of TTWM. God’s goodness during that season was so abundant, I feel like an idiot for not seeing it while I was in it. But sometimes that’s how it goes. It’s hard to see what’s true in those places.

If you’re in a spot where you can’t see any goodness, I encourage you to be patient. I’m not saying that flippantly or lightly. I know it’s hard. I know sometimes things just don’t seem good. But our circumstances don’t change who God is. Our God is good toward us, and his lovingkindness is abundant.

Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you.
Psalm 33:9